Yes I know it has been about 5 or so months since I last updated. But here it is with awesome news.
At one of our vistis earlier in the year the birth father became adamant about proceeding with the open adoption as they are tired of the courts, etc etc etc. Uhmmm huhmm.
So my case worker at the agency took note and ran with it. My attorney that I had to find and myself wrote up the PACA agreement. They presented the terms I had.. of course they denied the main request of less frequent visits with babygirl. So in order for it to work. I had to give in and do a more often visit schedule IN a PUBLIC setting with whom ever I please to bring for safety reasons. (many may remember that the birth mother has mental disabilities and can go off at the drop of a dime and the birth father really honestly control her when it happens. So yes I realized that in order to get what I want and have fought for, I had to give in. No biggie.
The day came for everyone to sign. Unfortunately, due to the sensitivity level, I was told to not come at the same time as the birth parents as the birth mother went off and basically do not want to be around me. Understandable due to the situation and lack of her really understanding anything but the hurt that she has in regards to not able to care for herself nor anyone else. I went later on to sign and was told what happened. Which I will not get into but I was glad I was not there at the same time... The Lord planned that for well my safety and I gave it all to him.
After signing, the waiting game began. For those who are not familiar....after signing such agreements, the birth parents legally has 7 days to contest the agreement for adoption and rights terminated. I can say that was the longest wait ever to not know if they contested it or not. But with my faith, support here at work and at home... I made it through.
The 7th day came and gone. My case worker contacted me with the awesome news that we can now finally breathe easy and proceed with the adoption. I went in and signed the last paper work that was needed for the courts. WOW like I never knew if I would ever see this day. The fight was and is worth it for my babygirl. She is my world, and all she knows.
When she was born, she went straight into foster care. It was just her birth mother...and she went through the agency profiles and choose mines. I claimed babygirl right then and there when I got that email and call about this potential unique situation. Unique is what it truly has been.
A long fight from 2014 to now....but in the beginning it was fine. It was just between birth mom and me/agency with unknown birth father terminated as the first guy tested to not be. The messy messy messiness did not start until the 'brother' turned 'boyfriend' right after the courts granted me custody in late summer 2015 that he mentioned that he could be the birth father.
Ugggg just writing that brings chills, frustration, anxiety to me, but it is OUR story. I don't regret anything. As I told babygirl as I rock her, that I will do what I have to do in my power to keep her...and that's what I did. Went into financial strain/disaster paying for a adoption attorney and turn around that I did not need her, but still paying her. Yeah twisted how that planned out. But yes... would I do it again. YES!!!!
What many people don't understand, when you have a lot of love to give and heart open for a child when you can not bear one in your womb..its hard and quite frankly not far. I say that because those of us who has or are adopting have to open our entire lives up to be 'approved' when many out there just have kids for all the wrong reasons and then do not take care of them and/or care if they do or don't... that hurt my heart. What's the fairness in that. Something to think about.
I may be just rambling, but hey this is real life. And anyone else going through the motions with the adoption process..DO NOT GIVE UP!!! THE BATTLE HAS NOT WON YET!!! It is your calling, just be patient. I'm a single forever mother/mommy to a beautiful girl my blessing!!! My story has just began! :0)
**** As always, please keep us in your prayers. If possible or know of anyone who is able, please contribute to my adoption fee campaign. We are not finalized yet until I am able to pay off the fees. But slowly getting there. Thank you for reading, many blessings!!!!
