Adoption Finalized!!!!

I am proud to say that on July 19^th 2017, the adoption is now official FINAL!!!! I received the court documents in the mail after my case worker emailed me to inform me that everything is done!

How did we get there, well of course I was blessed to receive the Show Hope Adoption Grant. After that I still had a balance that I was paying monthly on until paid. I finished that Spring of this year. I was referred to an attorney via the adoption agency. Contacted her and got the ball moving on finalizing…which basically a lot of paper work from me, my attorney and adoption agency to the court to approve. Thank the Lord the fight is over and we can breathe easy. HOWEVER, as I stated before, part of the agree to this ‘open’ adoption is bi monthly visit with the birth parents in a local inside setting. However after some recent issues with the birth parents, my case worker will set up the visits and will be there let it be at the agency or elsewhere. SO a sigh of relief for me right now.

After a long fight for babygirl, she was 4 months old when I bought her home until now…3 year old. WOW right. I never thought I would see the light and the end of this long journey. Blessed and amazed to say the least. Over emotionally feelings of joy, anxiousness, and continuing being the best mom and forever family for my babygirl. Some has asked me, would I do it all over again… YES I WOULD!!!!!!!! I have nothing but high praise for Children’s Home Society of VA staff, their attorneys, etc. as well as Show Hope Grant Organization.

Thank you to all who read, kept up (even when I was not posting on my blog often as I would have want too), said prayers for us…I truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart from the moon and back. Much love. 

If you or someone you know interested in adoption do research first, read books on adopting infants, older children, etc. The more knowledgeable you are when you start the process, the better. 

Do not be nervous or scared if you are a single adult. I did it all by myself with NO regrets. So can you. remain positive through out the entire process. Well that's it. *SMILE*  

The best news ever.

Yes I know it has been about 5 or so months since I last updated. But here it is with awesome news.

At one of our vistis earlier in the year the birth father became adamant about proceeding with the open adoption as they are tired of the courts, etc etc etc. Uhmmm huhmm.
So my case worker at the agency took note and ran with it. My attorney that I had to find and myself wrote up the PACA agreement. They presented the terms I had.. of course they denied the main request of less frequent visits with babygirl. So in order for it to work. I had to give in and do a more often visit schedule IN a PUBLIC setting with whom ever I please to bring for safety reasons. (many may remember that the birth mother has mental disabilities and can go off at the drop of a dime and the birth father really honestly control her when it happens. So yes I realized that in order to get what I want and have fought for, I had to give in. No biggie.

The day came for everyone to sign. Unfortunately, due to the sensitivity level, I was told to not come at the same time as the birth parents as the birth mother went off and basically do not want to be around me. Understandable due to the situation and lack of her really understanding anything but the hurt that she has in regards to not able to care for herself nor anyone else. I went later on to sign and was told what happened. Which I will not get into but I was glad I was not there at the same time... The Lord planned that for well my safety and I gave it all to him.

After signing, the waiting game began. For those who are not familiar....after signing such agreements, the birth parents legally has 7 days to contest the agreement for adoption and rights terminated. I can say that was the longest wait ever to not know if they contested it or not. But with my faith, support here at work and at home... I made it through.

The 7th day came and gone. My case worker contacted me with the awesome news that we can now finally breathe easy and proceed with the adoption. I went in and signed the last paper work that was needed for the courts. WOW like I never knew if I would ever see this day. The fight was and is worth it for my babygirl. She is my world, and all she knows.
When she was born, she went straight into foster care. It was just her birth mother...and she went through the agency profiles and choose mines. I claimed babygirl right then and there when I got that email and call about this potential unique situation. Unique is what it truly has been.

A long fight from 2014 to now....but in the beginning it was fine. It was just between birth mom and me/agency with unknown birth father terminated as the first guy tested to not be. The messy messy messiness did not start until the 'brother' turned 'boyfriend' right after the courts granted me custody in late summer 2015 that he mentioned that he could be the birth father.

Ugggg just writing that brings chills, frustration, anxiety to me, but it is OUR story. I don't regret anything. As I told babygirl as I rock her, that I will do what I have to do in my power to keep her...and that's what I did. Went into financial strain/disaster paying for a adoption attorney and turn around that I did not need her, but still paying her. Yeah twisted how that planned out. But yes... would I do it again. YES!!!!

What many people don't understand, when you have a lot of love to give and heart open for a child when you can not bear one in your womb..its hard and quite frankly not far. I say that because those of us who has or are adopting have to open our entire lives up to be 'approved' when many out there just have kids for all the wrong reasons and then do not take care of them and/or care if they do or don't... that hurt my heart. What's the fairness in that. Something to think about.

I may be just rambling, but hey this is real life. And anyone else going through the motions with the adoption process..DO NOT GIVE UP!!! THE BATTLE HAS NOT WON YET!!! It is your calling, just be patient. I'm a single forever mother/mommy to a beautiful girl my blessing!!! My story has just began! :0)

**** As always, please keep us in your prayers. If possible or know of anyone who is able, please contribute to my adoption fee campaign. We are not finalized yet until I am able to pay off the fees. But slowly getting there. Thank you for reading, many blessings!!!!

End of the year update...

Yes it has been a long while since I wrote about the going of my adoption process. So here it goes.

Since February 2015, my babygirl turned 1yrs old.. We went to court for the continuation of the birth mother rights and at that time the unknown birth fathers right was terminated. WELL at that court hearing  I was given custody of babygirl. WELL as we was walking out making plans, the birth mother boyfriend then decides to state that he could be the birth father.... At that time none of us thought much of it but to have a DNA done. 

So it was done and he is the birth father. So at the agency he stated in front of all of us that he did not want to take babygirl as she was in a good home and has a strong attachment to me. Of course I had her since she was 3mths old. Anyhow, at the next visit I left out to change babygirl and when we and my adoption case worker returned he was on the phone talking with a lawyer. Now I'm a very professional person. I felt that he should have waited until AFTER the visit to make calls of that sort and not during the visit. 

A few weeks later my adoption case worker suggested I keep my petition active for custody and backup would be the agency have her as custody so that I wont loose babygirl. Fast forward to our last court hearing about a month or so ago....the birth father and birth mother both stated to the judge that they want babygirl now. Well the courts decided to keep the baby with me and we continue the case either in Jan or Feb. 

Now this is the basics of what I have has occurred with my adoption. It is a known fact that the birth mother is not able to care for herself nor others. However for the now birth father to come out and say he wants babygirl, but has been attending every visit at the agency but waited until the day the court granted me custody makes me nervous, upsetting, etc. I mean words can not express. 

I and the adoption agency and the agency lawyer have the same goal which was the same from the beginning and that is for me to adopt babygirl. I was chosen from the profiles back when babygirl was born. Babygirl was never in the birth mother custody. After birth, babygirl went straight into foster care, then I came into the picture. I was told then that this was an unique adoption situation. And I can say that it is. Do I regret anything.. NO. And I will continue to fight to be a forever family for babygirl. I'm the only one she knows, she is and I am attached to one another. We had per the adoption attorney, conducted an attachment specialist and they also agreed that if babygirl was taken away from me it will be a tremendous lost. Same as everyone states. And the question of why the birth father waited so long to speak up, when he was at every court hearing, visits, etc. 

Anyhow, I have started a GoFundMe campaign, as attorney fees are not cheap. If you are reading this and able to help out in any way, I truly thank you from the bottom of my heart. Even if you are not able to help financial wise, your prayers will help keep us afloat emotionally and mentally. As I stated before, I have claimed babygirl as mines to the Lord and I will fight for her! On that note. Thank you for taking the time to read my update. 

February 2015 update

Hello everyone. I hope all is doing good especially if your on the east coast. 

So my lil one will be a year old soon. The process is ongoing. I found that they pushed back the court date to next month in which I am not sure if they want me to come or not... I have to remain positive though because I'm doing this all for her, point blank. 

We have been having the birth mother visits, which went well the last time.. even though my lil one is now in that attachment phase where she did NOT want anyone else to hold her but me...she boohoooed the entire time until I held her. I and my case worker secretly knew it was because she felt more comfortable and knows me. The birth mother understood for the most part. We just talked about the future, and all. SO it was a good visit. 

I could say that I an anxious for it all to be done with, but as I stated before, everything happens for a reason and this is a blessing..yes the wait is because it just shows and proves that she is growing and in a nurturing environment with me. 
Again for all those in waiting, it IS going to happen, you may never know what 'situation' may pop up with an infant, baby, child, or teen. If your desire is strong and you feel that its YOUR calling, go for it. Lord knows I do NOT regret mines at all. 

As far as funding, I have re-applied for more grants and I am staying hopeful on that aspect. I wish I could do a loan but my credit history does not permit to do so. Anyhow, it will all work out. 

My readers, I thank you for continue support with my process, I truly appreciate it. Until next time, stay positive and motivated in whatever you do! :0)

End of year update

Well at first I was contemplating to go into the update of the adoption since its a very 'unique' situation. However, I will still share it as I may help someone else or give insight or someone can give me insight, encouragement, etc.  

So the court date that was set for December was crazy. They baby lawyer came out to my home and basically stated that its best for the BABY for her to stay with me in a safe environment than with the birth mother, etc etc. After the actual hearing, they extended it to early 2015 just for the lawyers then afterwards, try again with the parental termination rights. 

As stated before, the birth parent has brain/mental damage and can not care for self. However, as with anyone one still wants her child... I understand. At the same time, I am on the other end of wanting to adopt. We do get along and she even stated numerous times that she wants our baby with me period. So yeah.. it can be frustrating and stressful. But I had to give it to the Lord and keep doing what I'm doing. My adoption case worker reassured me that there is no need to loose rest over that if push come to shove she will have the court grant me 100% custody and go from there. When she told me that and I saw the genuine sincere-ness and from the lawyer I know that we are in good hands.

Therefore, I truly believe that what we desire that's meant never comes easy. This is a pure example and I am a fighter and determined person. I did not let that damper her Christmas neither.. I probably went overboard but so worth it as its items to help her learn and play at the same time. I am blessed to be able to do so. 

As the year coming to a close, I do NOT regret anything. Nothing that I had to endure, pain, happiness, etc is worth regretting. I am happy, babygirl is happy and spoiled rotten. I am looking for a positive new year and I wish everyone reading a awesome, blessed, safe one. And for those still in waiting, it will happen. Hang in there. Even the most odd situation may work for you as it is for me. Never say never! Thanks for reading my blog and stay tuned for more to come! :0)

Fall 2014 Update

A Happy evening/night to all my readers. My adopting daughter and I are doing great. Totally enjoying watching her grow and interact.

Sooooo where am I at in my adoption process?  Waiting for the new court date set for next month to terminate the birth mother rights. I pray and pray that goes per our behalf. The situation is very very sticky due to the nature of her, the birth mother, medical condition and incomprehension skills.  So I am totally anxious. I want to say that I want to just get it over with and finalized, but I understand that things we desire does not come easy and I am a fighter. I will fight for my butterfly.

With that said, After the court date, the finalization process will start (yes being and staying positive). That for me will be completed early in the year at the latest if low and behold I have not been granted one of the adoption grants that I have applied for.

I can say the anticipation in it all can run you silly. However, having supportive family and friends in my corner and just  having butterfly makes it all worth while.

For anyone who is also waiting for the parental rights to be terminated. I empathize with you.
For anyone who is still in the waiting phase of the adoption, waiting for that phone call. IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT! Stay positive, I know its hard.
For anyone starting the process/doing application/starting homestudy. Just remember that you have to open your entire life up, you may feel uncomfortable, but remind yourselves of the reason that made you want to adopt in the first place. YOU WILL GET APPROVED!
For those thinking about adoption. You will receive the sign from the Lord that its your time to go forward with whatever decision you choose.
For those on the outside looking in. Never judge adoption
For those who are supportive of us. I THANK YOU!!!

Well with that said, I will keep you all updated on the process. Thanks for reading :0)

Financing adoption....

For those who are also looking for grants as like myself. Here are a few options:

* Gift of Adoption
* CMOMA
* Tinina Q Cade Foundation
* Help Us Adopt
* National Adoption Foundation
* Show Hope
* Affording Adoption Foundation
* A Child Waits 
* Helping Kids Cope
* God's Grace Adoption Ministry
* His Kids Too
* Hope Grafted
* Adoption Grant

Just to name a few, as I have applied to majority on the list. However, unfortunately at this time I was not a chosen candidate for majority that I have applied for. I just applied to 3 more, fingers crossed.  

Have that aspect of funding my adoption made me frustrated? Yes it did, I am only human with emotions. But with the grace of the Lord I will NOT give up. He put me here for a reason.

Another avenue that many have tried is the Go Fund Me. I have a page right here > My Go Fund Me Link   as I am attempting to raise enough funds for my finalization which will be in December 2014.

For myself, I do not have the credit to successfully obtain a loan at this time. Why you might ask? I have been through a financial turmoil due to having a big heart that some have used and abused therefore sadly my finances had to suffer. I am still working on a budget that works for me. As well as looking for another career path.
I totally understand those who are also going through similar events in their life from bills, medical reasons, being used or theft, playing catch up, lack of income/debt ratio,etc. Things do happen that we may or may not have control over. With that said, I just wanted to share this tidbit. 

Remember Google is your friend. Research, research, research. Be careful and make sure the application you are submitting is to a legit foundation/business/organization. Have your references on hand as some adoption grants/loans require about 2 letters, copy of completed home study and your previous year or two tax returns. Also a few want a written statement and pictures to accompany the application and/or a fee. So be ready, be positive and BEST OF LUCK!!!! :0) 

***Added: As I find more resources I will just update this particular blog post.